New Year New Realisation

I just want to share with you guys a story from my past which has inspired a sudden realisation on my part. Now bear with me.

When I was younger, secondary school age, I was bullied terrifically mostly because of my weight and my lack of education about eating correctly. This combined with my sensitive nature and unconfident demeanour meant I ate for comfort not really realising I was eating my emotions. Trust me I am no where near over this, but I’m learning that discipline. *Food is fuel not my friend* haha. So, the consequences of this was that I was a fat kid with few friends and fewer motivations to be in school because of the other kid’s unkindness.

I remember being called out on the playground for being with a kid called Michael, who used to bring sweets and things to school and sell them, who was his best customer? No idea, don’t ask me. I had bought a few things from him but had been watched by my peers at the time and they sneered and one asked, “I assume your boyfriend has given you everything! You’re such a fat shit.” This was a usual day and I ignored the laughter and jeers and slunk off to eat what I’d purchased, at a premium price.

Later, a known arse of a boy came to find me because apparently, I’d eaten everything Michael had brought, and he wanted everything I had left. He spat in my face as he said, “Give me everything you bought from Michael.” I said, “I don’t have anything left.” I hadn’t noticed one of his friends had knelt-down behind me and he pushed me over him. I jumped up embarrassed to see people pointing and laughing and ran after him, I gave chase until he turned near the doors and nose to nose all I could hear was people chanting “Hit him, hit him.” I failed, as usual, to muster any sort of courage and turned and was pushed away continually and goadingly to my next lesson.

My realisation now is that I couldn’t hit that boy and maybe that makes me coward or maybe that makes me a better person, I suppose that depends on your opinion. But for me, reflecting on it, it shows me how strong I was to not bow to peer pressure and that my crippling hatred towards violent behaviour is ingrained in my personal philosophy.

Now I understand some people may be shouting unkind things at their screen or wow that’s fantastic but this sudden realisation, whilst I was washing pots at 29 no doubt, shows I had integrity even then. As somebody who was told (and believed until quite recently) I’d never amount to anything by many people, including friends and family and was constantly compared to my older sister, who is much smarter than I and much more driven, by the teachers who taught her, that’s quite something.

I don’t regret my time at school, it has shaped me and now time spent reflecting has shown me even then I had something. My point is that I have endured bad days and good days and never, until now, have I thought in such a positive way about my past and being those horrible days.

Thanks for Listening!

 

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Challenge 100

I came up with an idea instead of the usual. “My new year’s resolution is….” and 3 months in and it’s ”oh…damn I forgot I should be doing that…” Last year I took it upon myself to become accountable for doing at least an hour a day of self-development which could be anything, but it must involve learning. This brought me to the idea of listening or reading to 100 articles, podcasts, audiobooks, books, blogs for the year ahead. And because I’m ever analytic I have make sure they’re noted down in my journal and I review said journal ever week. Thus, my challenge 100 began, alongside this I also decided for myself that the 100 new pieces of information I gain whether useful or not would better me even if I only use ten of them ever again. I actually thought I might become the superman of the pub quiz, but I doubt it. I believe as Jim Rohn said “Add value to yourself by learning something new.”

Here’s a list of the Challenge 100 things I have thought of up to now:

  • Challenge yourself to meet 100 new people – I think this would be particularly good for me as it would be a push for me to be less of an introvert.
  • Challenge yourself to read 100 Personal development books – I decided that this one would need to be adjusted as I am fickle and lose interest in things quickly thus mine includes podcasts and audiobooks etc. Non-fiction, historical or Inspiring people biographies would also be great.
  • Challenge yourself to 100 new experiences. I particularly like this one as I think it would push you out of your comfort zone which is a great way to stretch yourself. Maybe you’ll find something that could become a new hobby or assist in the top one.
  • Challenge yourself to and complete 100 goals. Mostly for Self-Esteem I think this would be fantastic to look back at, this is mostly the reason I decided I would start a journal because I could look back on what I’d done and maybe remember things better.
  • Challenge yourself to write 100 chapters. For myself this would be an important one but if you also have any urge to write this would be good and don’t even worry how big or small the chapters are you can flush or flesh them out after they’ve all been written. Or as some crazy person recommended write them all again!
  • Challenge yourself to 100 days of exercise. About two days a week exercise is not too difficult to achieve and remember exercise could be anything, walking, swimming, running, taking the dog for a walk.
  • Challenge yourself to 100 days of learning new skill. This sounds fun to me as I’ve always wanted to earn to play the guitar but am too impatient for a little bit every day.

I think if you reach the end of each of those journeys I guarantee you’ve learnt something new, if not, you’ve learnt something about yourself during the journey. Maybe it’s whether these things aren’t what you enjoy, and you need to do something else.

Also, I’m aware that the challenges above could likely take longer than a year, so what? It’s a New Years resolution but nowhere does it say that you must instantly give them up when Jan 1st comes around again.

Just a thought!

Happy New Year to all I wish the best to you all and thank you for the likes and comments every view is appreciated and keeps me motivated, or helps at least.

Habit – Power to change

So, recently my mood has taken me into the swing of motivational books once again. This was shortly after the death of my attempt at a netork marketing business that when a little worse than pair shaped. Orange shaped? Banana shaped? Always baffles me that saying.

Anyway, this weeks audiobook, yes I’m lazy and would rather listen than read, shoot me. Another Charles Duhigg book The Power of Habit which like the last one is just fantastic. Now I understand that others won’t like the content because they don’t like the research aspect of it. Instead you guys are purely in it for the self help aspect, in which case you can literally flip to the appendices for the applications and how to harness the theories for use.

The book itself introduces concepts such as habit forming, neurology of human behaviour, the habit loop and why belief is an essential tenet of changing negative habits. This is all intertwined with success stories in business and personal lives in Charles Duhiggs beautifully alegorical way, which helps embed the constructs he discusses. That there isn’t even mentioning some of the names he drops in this book in an attempt to prove we are all being that routinely create new habits from scratch over tiny cues and being neurologically rewarded. There’s finger nail biters and Olympic Athlete Michael Phelps, Pepsident and the king of coffee CEO Howard Shultz all for your enjoyment.

What is most important though is the fact that with this book it’s a closer look into the processes we most punish ouselves for eating too much or at the wrong time, being unhappy, drinking or drugs habits. All that could change if we teach ourselves we are fallible but we can also gain the knowledge to change it too.

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Audio Motivation – Podcasts

I am fairly new to podcasts as I have spent a lot of my life staring at a screen watching TV and/ or movies from which I learnt little about actually motivating myself. So, one day, approximately 6 weeks ago I was recommended to listen to a podcast about learning new things, because that is truly my passion, learning. The programme was the BBC’s In Our Time which I believe airs on Radio 4 and so I took up searching for a podcasting app on android and found Castbox. While adding the subscribed stations I found Tony Robbins Business Mastery podcast and I started listening to the first episode and halfway through something clicked in me and i suddenly realised I was smiling. Listening to individuals who have come from less than me have made more of themselves and their stories inspired me so much it triggered me onto the path I am on now. My ultimate goal is to have my own business and be my own boss. However, It took a hold much deeper than that and resonated with the part of me that has never felt fulfilled with work. I remember hearing in my head:

“No more sitting and doing nothing now is the time you will succeed no matter what! DRIVE>SUCCEED>ACHIEVE!” I have yet to find my Why.

After this breakthrough I felt a sense of need to find more people to inspire and teach me how to get through my day without feeling that creeping dread of dissatisfaction with life. So, I searched out some more podcasts that I could absorb. Here they are:

  • Jocko Willink – Jocko is a retired US Navy Seal, author and podcaster. I was inspired to listen by a friend who asked me to listen to his 3 minute video Good on YouTube. You can access his podcasts via YouTube too. Castbox don’t have Jocko’s podcasts so if you’re listening via phone like me Podbean is your best bet.
  • The Ziglar Show– I’m not sure I have to introduce Zig Ziglar really, however the podcast is great and it’s another take on interviewing successful types but also has a great motivational topics too. Available on Castbox too.
  • TEDtalks – This is an obvious one but it clearly needs to on here. Excellent learning and inspirational people on here all the time. Available everywhere!
  • In Our Times – I am still listening to these but the BBC can be a little dull sometimes so I pick and choose. These tend to be based on specific topics, I recently watched on about Plasma – interesting stuff. Castbox has a massive range of the topics.

 

Currently this is my listening choice at the moment but if you have any suggestions for further listening, I am into any learning topics but mostly audiobooks, Motivation, Success, Extreme lives, Psychological concepts applied to real life. Suggest anything though and I’ll have a look.

ALSO DON’T MISS THE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS OF MONUMENTAL GIFT WHICH I WILL PUBLISH TOMORROW!!

 

 

Update – Smarter Faster Better

I briefly mentioned that I was reading into Group Psychology, Psychology of teams and In general all coaching and self-improvement literature as a way of improving my outlook and skills. I am probably the best person to take on the challenge of making a big change in the way I approach situations and motivate myself. If you don’t know what I mean picture this, a 28 year old man who fluctuates (in just about anything but weight in this instance) from a size 42 waist to a 38 and is immovable when seated in front of a screen. Me and a Friend have been writing a book together for years but because of my flakiness It’s stopped once again. And also I’m a notorious recluse when it comes to social situations, imagine extreme over analysis of any and all social situations, which usually ends up in some twisted end of the other person doesn’t like me.

Anyway, prime example for any self-improvement case, so off I trotted to buy Charles Duhigg’s – Smarter Better Faster because he inspired me through the Business Mastery podcast by Tony Robbins. What a buy it was!!

Charles Duhigg goes about the book by writing little anecdotal stories which demonstrate each topic, of which there are 8, Motivation, Teams, Focus, Goal Setting, Managing Others, Decision Making, Innovation and Absorbing Data. After which he gives a brief guide for how the information contained can be used. Now the Psychologist in me likes the idea of using all the aspects in one way of another but I’m sure some are most relevant. One of the anecdotes relates to the Yom Kippur War. In which a top ranking Israeli official was blinded to the imminent invasion of Egyptian and Syrian armies into due to a Psychological need for Cognitive Closure, which drove him blindly towards 40,000 casualties – on both sides – on a very religious day.

In short I’m looking forwards to sussing out how I can relate the ability to practise going through my presentations without succumbing to cognitive tunnelling and panicking into meltdown when the presentation doesn’t work. Or becoming a slob (once again) by over shooting my Stretch or SMART goals.

If you have any other recommendations for self-improvement or group analysis/psychology books just comment. Also I am currently educating myself on web design so if anybody has any suggestions for that it’d be fantastic. Also how’s my blog, is there anything you recommend, or things that I can change? Finally, if you just want to swap knowledge or chat about anything please get in touch. Thank you Dan